


'man, you are killing me'

by Murf1307



Category: X-Men: First Class (2011) - Fandom
Genre: Canon Compliant, Inspired by Allen Ginsberg, Inspired by Richard Siken, M/M, Poetry
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-10
Updated: 2017-07-10
Packaged: 2018-11-30 06:20:01
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 635
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11457762
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Murf1307/pseuds/Murf1307
Summary: A poem about that night at the compound.





	'man, you are killing me'

this is the story where everything clatters to a halt.  
crinkling on the rooftop and twanging through the pinball machine --  
 _you're killing me_ , you say,  
                          the last thing you ever say to me besides my name.  
 _i've had a lot of free time_ , i say, trying to be funny, because it's you,  
and i like you, your big dark eyes and wide smile.  
i haven't been smiled at in a while, i guess,  
                 and never like that.

               but anyway, we're getting away from the story.  
where were we?  
    right. i'm killing you and trying to be funny about it,  
because i don't see the monsters right outside.  
we're monsters, too, but you don't see it, and i liked that about you.  
i never liked so much as i did you.

anyway, you hear something, and it's time to go,  
time for everything to fall apart in the middle of the night --  
       and isn't that always when everything falls apart?  
in the middle of the night, when the monsters wait outside the door.  
            and then you do something new, your hand on my chest.  
and my heart tries to jump into your hands,  
but my ribs are in the way. i'm on fire,   
                                            though that's nothing new.

i follow you out of a sense of desperation, i think.  
           swinging around you like a comet or a star, a pinball machine tilted to one side.   
i don't know if you noticed.

everything explodes, and we try to keep   
              each other from swallowing glass, and for the most part it works.  
when the monster comes around the last door, i'm right beside you.  
close enough to move when you need me to.  
        it's easy, it comes like breathing, and my heart still wants to jump into your hands,  
and i think this is the pause where i don't realize who we are.

(another pause will come in the morning, when i can't stop realizing,  
but for now, let's stick to the present, shall we?)

the monster looks like a used-car salesmen, or a pimp,   
and barely gives me a second glance. but he looks at you like he   
       thinks he can have _you_ , and i want to tear him apart.  
you just have to give me the chance.  
                     and you do, your hand curling into mine after skating my lungs.  
      and would you look at that, my heart's trying again,  
like maybe this time my ribs'll crack or something.

                                                         you look at me.  
you're not smiling. you never smile after that, not ever,  
          and this is the part where it becomes my fault.  
the part where i could do anything else, but i don't, and i think  
    somehow you knew i wouldn't, because you knew me.  
you always seemed to know me and i liked that about you.  
but anyway, now we're acting out the story where you pretend to leave me  
        (it's a good story, lots of hurt on both sides, and for just a minute   
i wish it was true)  
and then,   
              you say my name.

                                           my ribs don't crack, but my chest  
still opens like a river of fire, and i want the monster to burn.  
but he doesn't, and this is the part where we're not playing anymore,  
when he shoves me down your throat and i choke   
                                                              right along with you.  
you don't say anything, and i can't either,   
       frozen to the floor just like you, because i put you there.

you look at me like you're trying to make sure you remember   
      and i look at you because i can't understand it, skin to stone and back again,  
and light is rising up in your chest and in your throat,  
and god, i think i love you, and i'm terrified about it,

and then your chest cracks open, along with the rest.


End file.
